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Feb. 10th, 2011 07:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sonora_conejaPairing: Hannibal/Holden
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: none
Summary: A fill for this prompt on the kink meme
Hannibal meets Holden. Or the other way round...
Hannibal sees this guy who looks exactly like his beloved LT. But unlike Face, this guy a) seems to be gay b ) doesn't view him as some kind of father figure and is all "eww sex with Daddy no thanks *shudder*
Perfect way to release some of that sexual tension, right?
Holden sees this weird silver-haired hot old dude who's kind of undressing him with his eyes and also constantly making comments about his face. Whatever, the guy is hot (and for the purposes of this story Holden and Sean are not/not currently together) and he can have some fun, right?
So... smokin' hot crossover sex, please!!! Rough sex totally okay, nay, encouraged, bonus points if Holden and Face meet afterwards...
Still hurting over his recent break-up from Sean Jackson, Holden meets an old guy in a bar who seems very interested in getting to know him.
Holden tapped on the bar, and his fifth drink of the evening magically materialized. He’d just told the bartender, some cute girl who kept smiling at him in that annoyingly obvious way, to surprise him. Did he give off straight vibes? Women were always smiling at him. Or maybe that was for the gay. He could never keep it all straight with them.
But at least this one could make a decent drink, he consoled himself, a mojito this time. He already couldn’t remember what the last one was.
How long had he been here? Fuck, what was he doing anyway?
It wasn’t a gay club. He figured that was something, at least. Seemed like he was finding himself in those places more and more often. Not that it helped or anything. Get laid, get fucked, have some fun, have a lot of fun, but it didn’t help anything.
Nothing had, since the break-up.
His brain rebelled at the thought of Sean, his... former, he chided himself and sipped at the drink. Former lover. He hadn’t wanted to leave him. It had taken every ounce of courage he’d had to even summon the thought of it. Making the demand had been easier, though, pure anger. Acknowledge me or I’m leaving, he’d warned, and then Sean said something about his career and Holden had pointed out that was coming to a close anyway, and then they’d gotten in a fight. The bad kind, the kind with no make-up sex after and a night alone in the guest bedroom. There hadn’t been any sex at all after that, actually.
Fuck. He was not drunk enough for that right now.
Sean had refused to come out for him. Didn’t care about him in the slightest. Ashamed of himself, what he was. Clearly. But Holden knew he himself did not have that problem. He was proud of being gay, accepted himself for who he was, what he was, and if he wanted to get out and had some fun, he was going to do it.
But he wasn’t here for that. Not tonight. Just a nice neighborhood bar, or as neighborhood as downtown LA could get. Just a nice after-work drink. Nothing crazy.
Yeah, sure you aren’t that little voice taunted in the back of his mind and Holden resisted the urge to poke his temple to shut it up.
“Sam Adams, please.”
“Rough voice, right at his elbow, and Holden looked over. Tall guy, silver-gray hair, handsome in kind of a rugged way, something guarded about the way he was oh-so casually leaning against the bar as he ordered, some kind of power, something commanding, an intense presence behind a studiously easy-going demeanor. The same guy who’d been casting glances his way for the past hour and a half. Alone at some table on the other side of the room.
“You’ve been watching me,” he said, teasing just a little, not really sure what was going on here. LA was pretty safe as far as it came to gay acceptance, that sort of thing, but sometimes people just flew off the handle about it...
“Sorry about that, you just remind me of...” the older man started, a little awkward, and trailed off as the girl behind the counter came back. He slid a five across in exchange for the icy brown bottle he handed off to him.
The bartender winked at Holden again, and he must have flinched or made a face or something, because keen blue eyes were watching him again. Like he wanted him, and wouldn't that be a nice feeling? Fuck you, Sean.
“What is it with girls these days?” he asked, not knowing what else to say, feeling a little overwhelmed by the guy, and sipped at the mojito to cover it up.
“Always looking where they aren’t wanted,” the guy next to him agreed, and Holden smiled a little. This seemed like a possibility.
“Holden,” he said, holding out his hand.
The other guy waited, a split second, and took it, shaking back firmly. “John.”
Oh oh. Was that a fake name he'd jut been given? Hold smiled wider, over the rim of his glass, and this John started chuckling.
Definitely a possibility.
+++++
Holden wasn’t exactly sure when they left the bar, John hailing a cab, holding him. He wasn’t exactly drunk, the dull edge of tomorrow’s headache, sure, but nothing major to worry about, and John didn’t seem to be inebriated in the slightest.
The bright lights of LA rolled by, outside the window, and it wasn’t long before they were pulling into the foyer of some downtown hotel, the Hilton or Hyatt, whatever, all gold and glitz, all the things he’d bored with long ago. All the things Sean never liked.
His stomach turned over, and Holden glanced over at the man next to him. “This is my stop,” he said.
It was the faint hint of uncertainty in his voice that made the younger man hop out of the cab with him.
John, or whoever he was, had a suite or maybe a villa on one of the top floors. Amazing view, huge, at least two different bedrooms, everything else a little hard to discern in the darkness. John didn’t turn on the lights, just indicated the room that was open. Walking over, hoping he wasn’t going to trip over anything, Holden saw somebody curled up on the huge couch, big black guy. John paused to pull the blanket over the guy, and ran a hand around Holden’s waist, pulling him close, as he came over to see a little better.
“Bodyguard,” he whispered hotly, and pulled Holden back into that waiting bedroom.
Well, if he didn’t seem to think the man sleeping outside was a problem...
Once inside, once the door were locked, John flipped the lights, adjusted it to be just bright enough to see, too dim for detail, and kicked off his shoes. There was something hungry in his face, and Holden frowned a little, putting a hand between them as the older man - and there was no other word for it - prowled towards him, backing him up.
“Bodyguard?”
“Investment firm,” John replied easily, like it bored him thinking about it, reaching out, big hand around the back of his head, cradling it. “Started getting death threats after the market went bottom-up...”
Holden nodded. His own family was in finance, so he understood that. But he’d never made use of that kind of muscle himself, and from what he could feel, trailing his fingers up John’s arms, down the front of John’s jacket, shirt, popping buttons, this guy didn’t seem like he needed the protection.
He shivered. Been a while since he’d been with anyone who could really... Sean had always been good for that, all that brute strength from the field translating so beautifully into bed. Holden’s knees hit the mattress, and he almost fell backwards onto the hotel duvet.
Only he didn’t fall. John caught him around the waist again, and lowered his head slowly, laying him back, undoing his vest and shirt, taking it all off, throwing it away, laving a tongue over one of Holden’s nipples, then the other.
John kissed a hot trail down his stomach, dragging his fingers a little ways behind, and Holden gasped as he felt his belt being unbuckled, everything pulled away, naked, falling apart under this man’s ministrations. John, kissing the inside of his thighs, working his way slowly up, so slow, taking one of Holden’s balls in his mouth and then the other, blowing cool air on hot skin, making Holden shiver and moan. One hand kept his hips pinned down as John cupped his balls and sucked, very gently, on the head of Holden’s cock.
He bucked up at that, and John just chuckled, taking him in a little further, tongue swirling, the vibrations of that chuckle reverberating through Holden’s entire body, and then swallowed him down. Holden had gotten head before - honestly, who hadn’t? - and this guy was one of the best ever, sucking his cock like it was his religion or something...
John squeezed his balls and pressed a finger back behind, that little sensitive spot, and that was it. Holden wanted to make some kind of protest about this, coming in the guy’s mouth, but John just swallowed it all down, every drop, rubbing circles on Holden’s belly as he did it.
When he was coherent again, John had crawled up on the bed with him, hand still moving. “That good, kid?” he asked softly.
Holden caught the little endearment there, and figured it might be for whoever it was he was supposed to look like. But John was clearly wanting here, and he’d been long enough without affection and who cared if it wasn’t real?
This was LA. Nothing was.
“Yeah, real good,” he replied. “Damn, you’re good at that.”
That hand just kept moving. “What do you want?”
Wasn’t really a question, was it? Who asked that? And Holden laughed. Oh, he could have done so, so much worse that this supposed, lovesick John. “We both know what you want.”
“Hmm, what’s that? To fuck you senseless?”
“Godyesplease,” and Holden bit his lip, trying not to smile at the way it all came out in a single groan, the way John just growled it in his ear, no shame at all, then rolled away, probably after a condom.
For his part, Holden scooted himself into a more pleasant arrangement on the bed, dragging the scratchy duvet away and kicking in over the edge. He hated those hotel room blankets, never knew who’d been laying all over them. Those smooth, cool hotel sheets on the other hand, those, those were good. Those were very good here, and he settled himself into the sinful spread of pillows as John tossed a tube and a foil wrapped package down in front of him on the bed.
“Extra large” Holden teased, fingering the condom in its wrapper.
John just grinned, and leaned on the footboard. Like he was admiring the view. Holden grinned back, and couldn’t help himself. He just had to stroke down his front, collarbone to cock, one time, and John groaned appreciative.
Holden did it again.
So what if John wasn't the only person starved for a little attention around here?
The older man came around the side of the bed, right over to him, and Holden felt his heart start to race a little, his cock start to swell again. Oh, raw power. He’d been right about that. The kind men carried at the top of their game, the top of their world, that kind of self-assurance that only a long-fought battle would bring. It’s what he’d loved about Sean...
And John dropped down next to him, on his side, head lifted with one hand, fingers dancing over his skin. “Who was he?” he asked softly, and Holden balked.
This was not the way these things went. Ever. And he sure as shit didn’t want to answer that.
“Sean. Football player. He, uh, well, hid us, you know, us... it wasn't fun for me anymore.”
“Fuck,” John said agreeably, and that hand on Holden’s skin got firmer, harder, more. “Who’d ever want to hide somebody like you?”
He barked a little laugh, uncomfortable at talking to somebody about this, uncomfortable that he couldn’t seem to stop himself. Like he wanted to talk to John. Like John wanted to listen.
Sure. Right. Was this some kind of kink the guy had?
“I don’t think you’d get it,” Holden huffed anyway. “He can’t come out, no way, not in his line of work and I frankly didn’t see the point in keeping on with it anymore...”
John moved on top of him, just swung over, arousal pressing painfully on the zipper of his pants. “Believe it or not, I know exactly how that is,” he replied, that growl back, and nipped at Holden’s collarbone. “You should cut him some slack...”
“Seriously? This, from the guy who picked up a total stranger in a bar?"
"You're too fucking gorgeous to resist..."
"Even when I'm whining? Come on John...” and he rubbed the straining fabric of the other man’s jeans, desperately wanting this discussion to be over. Needing it to be. Just needing whatever was in there to drive out the memories for a little while, not bring them to the forefront.
“Mmm, noticed that, did you, kid?”
“Yeah, old man. I want to see this extra-large dick of yours.”
John just laughed.
John smirked and worked his pants slowly down, kicking them off the bed. Holden just stared for a moment - christ this guy had not be kidding - and then took the older man in hand, stroking gently, then firmer, faster. John moved back over him, into his neck, biting lightly, hips already starting to find a rhythm with Holden's hand.
Those bites got harder the longer he went on like that, and Holden grinned into a tanned shoulder. Tightened his fist around John’s cock. Pressed his thumb right into the slit, drew a circle with the pad and John shuddered, turned his cheek and groaned, low and throaty. Oh, yeah, he thought, exactly like that.
“Need to fuck you,” John breathed.
All Holden could do was nod.
Strong hands flipped him over and arranged him just so and stroked down his back, dragging across tensing muscle. The younger man let loose a loud moan into the pillows as John reached his ass, started kneading there.
“Fucking lovely,” the older man growled and slipped a finger right between, right there, circling... and Holden gasped again, bucked back, feeling that shot of old familiar heat through him. It wasnt as good, nothing and nobody ever as good, as how Sean touched him, when Sean touched him, but it was still pretty damn good. Extremely good, he thought as that finger stopped moving and just pressed. Not all the way in. Just right over, everything inside already fluttering...
“Mmm, come on, John, don’t... don’t tease,” he gasped again, pushing back harder against that finger.
“Don’t have to beg, Holden,” came the low purr in reply and that light pressure was replaced with a heavier slickness, driving right into him...
He shuddered under just that much, just that right there, and the older man was twisting, turning, clearly searching, seeking out, finding... “Oh, right there... right there!”
“Right... here?” John asked and hit that nub again, sparking everything, and Holden tried to dig himself further into the sheets and further back against that hand.
One finger quickly turned into two, and two almost turned to three, but Holden caught John’s wrist. “I...I like it tight,” he murmured, remembering all the times Sean would take him with only the barest stretch. How much he always loved that. And since John was transferring here... “Tight, please...”
John rumbled in his chest again, deep and needy, running a heavy hand down one of Holden’s thighs before pulling back. Holden heard the light sound of that condom wrapper separating and wriggled his hips in anticipation as John rolled it on and positioned himself. That cockhead was at his entrance now, not quite inside, only the barest hint of cool on it from the lube, and John bent low over his ear, covering Holden’s body with his own.
“Me too,” he growled and then rolled his hips forward.
Driving right into him.
Holden buried his face in the pillows, biting down, moaning, as John just pushed into him, deeper and deeper, so deep, until he felt the older man’s balls touch, and those hands faltered a little.
And then closed down, vice-like, around his hips.
“Good?” John murmured, right in his ear still.
All Holden could do was nod.
Then John started to move.
It went fast from there, everything starting to build up on itself. Heat growing, skin rubbing against his own, all that power in the man’s frame focused on him, covering him, surrounding him, on this, on the way he was rocking into him, on finding just the right angle and sticking with it, initial shallow thrusts turning rougher, deeper, aggressive, so, so similar to the way Sean had been so good for, just like Sean, Sean...
Holden felt his body clench up around that cock and something broke apart inside him, and he was almost amazed to find himself spilling into the sheets again as John locked up over him and groaned through his own release, a few more light little thrusts before he pulled out and flopped away to the side, on his back, breathing hard.
They didn’t talk
And after the sweat cooled and his heart slowed, Holden felt awkward. He didn’t really know why. He just... did, and all he could think about was leaving. He needed to leave.
“And where are you going?” John asked sharply, grabbing his wrist before he could roll away.
Spending the night seemed, well, he hadn’t done that, with anyone, since the break-up. He wanted to say it didn’t feel right, but those words wouldn’t come. “I should...”
But John just wrapped an arm around Holden’s chest and pulled him back flush against him, spooning into him. He laid his chin on the younger man’s shoulder for a moment, long enough to whisper, “you need it too, kid,” and then something about his face, or maybe just face, and while that didn’t make any sense, John had fallen asleep, and there was something pleasant about that heartbeat, the breath on his skin.
Holden shrugged, figured there wasn’t any harm in it if John was okay with it, figured that John needed it, and relaxed. Started playing along that arm that was holding him, enjoying the closeness, even if it wasn't with who he wanted. Noticed a tattoo there, but he was a little too tired himself to figure out what it was.
He drifted off, cradled against the older man’s chest, and for the first time in a long time, didn’t mind that he dreamed about Sean.
+++++
The curtains in the room weren’t quite closed when he woke in the morning. Still early. Holden yawned and wriggled away from John, who’d shifted a little anyway in the night. Wasn’t hard to slide out of his grasp and off the bed.
Clothes found and pulled back on, Holden leaned back over John for a moment, wondering who he really was, why he’d been so... considerate, last night. If he was in love with that guy he thought Holden resembled. Stupid, that, falling in love with a straight man. But the other guy was an idiot, too, Holden thought, for not seeing what was on offer here.
That arm, his left, was sprawled over his side, giving Holden a clearer view of that tattoo. Parachute, lightning... Ranger? Damn, this guy had been in the military?
You should cut him some slack...
“Guess you do know what you’re talking about, John,” he murmured and kissed a stubbled cheek before tip-toeing out of the room.
He shut the door to the bedroom quietly behind him. The man who’d been sleeping on the couch last night was gone, and the shower in the other room was running. He made his way over to the door to the hall, flipping open his cell phone to call Redmond, his driver, get the car down here and get him to work. Had he left an extra set of clothes in the office? No, probably not, but Redmond could go pick those up, too... he started texting.
A man in one of those fluffy hotel robes was presiding over a breakfast spread, room service, on the in-suite table. There were differences between them, of course, Holden noted. The other guy’s hair was lighter, body tanner, clearly built, lounging comfortably, feet up on another chair, like he owned the place. Holden smiled to himself and went over for a cup of coffee. Couldn’t hurt, right?
“Man,” Holden commented to the other man as he reached for a sugar packet. “We do look alike, don’t we?”
And the other guy immediately started choking on his mouthful of coffee. “Motherfucker,” he coughed when he was able, and Holden handed him a napkin, feeling vaguely bad.
“You doing okay there, man? Not cool of me, sorry...”
The guy snatched the napkin and held it to his mouth as the hacking subsided. He looked up from where the cough had folded him double on his chair, and hung his head again with a groan, fisting up the cloth in his hand. “Please tell me I accidently took Murdock’s meds and you’re a hallucination.”
Holden sipped at his own coffee. Added a second sugar packet. Stirred. “Nope, I’m real. John brought me back last night.”
That head came up. Yeah, they could be twins. “Because you needed a place to sleep or something, right?”
“He did insist that I stay for that afterwards, yeah.” Oh, too much fun.
“After... dammit, John!” the other guy yelled, and there John was, padding out of his own room in another one of those robes, and smiling at his very pissed off employee. “What the fuck have we talked about with you bringing guys back to the room on these...”
“Holden, meet Templeton,” John replied lightly, going for a croussaint and winking broadly at Holden. “Who’s always bringing women back on when we’re on business trips.”
Holden smiled. “Can’t see that there’s much difference,” he agreed.
“None at all,” John nodded back serenely, and went for the coffee.
The younger guy, Templeton, flailed a little, obviously struggling and then it all came out in a rush. “Idon’tbringbackwomenthatlooklikeyou!”
Holden didn’t quite catch it, but John obviously did. His smirk broadened. “Does he? I didn’t even notice. Damn cute though, isn’t he?”
Templeton got up, grabbing a donut, and stalked back into the other bedroom, grumbling as he went. Holden just caught the sound of morning cartoons and muffled laughter from a pair of twin beds, right before the door slammed shut.
He smiled at John and squeezed the older man’s hand. Whatever bravado he’d been using on the younger man had fallen when that door had slammed, replaced by something wistful, almost sad.
“Who is he?”
Some tension, but John answered. “One of my management team. My... protoge, you might say. Been together a long time...”
“But nothing’s ever happened?”
“No,” John replied, and Holden felt horrible. The pain he’d heard in that little word... he didn’t want to make this thing worse for the guy, and felt kind of bad he’d actually let him fuck him. Well, not about the fucking itself, that had been glorious. But the transference, he guessed... “No, of all the words that kid would use to describe me, desirable is not one of them.”
“Oh, stop. You’re dead sexy and you know it, John,” Holden teased, finishing the last of his coffee and standing up. His cell phone buzzed. Redmond was on his way. “Look, last night was great, but my car’s here and I need to get going.”
“Understood,” John said, holding up a hand as if to indicate that was all okay, but he still got between Holden and the door, before the younger man could leave. Touched him one last time, like he must have wanted to touch Templeton, Holden thought, and leaned forward for a kiss.
Surprised, John didn’t quite return it, but he persisted and there it was, just the tiniest little brush of tongue, just a moment, something hungry in it... and John pushed him away. “You should try to work it out with that Sean of yours. Life’s too short to lose something like that,” he murmured, and grinned. “Take it from an old man.”
“I’ll think about it,” he said. “And you should...”
“Me too,” John replied, opened the door, and that was the end of that.
The door shut behind him, leaving that John to work things out with his Templeton. And Holden walked down the hall, feeling strangely light. He had a business trip of his own to England in a few weeks, and Valentine’s Day was the day he was scheduled to get back...well, at least he didn’t have to worry about it until then, right?
“Good night?” Redmond asked him when he got downstairs, found his car waiting for him.
“Yeah, Redmond,” he said, settling down into the backseat, staring at Sean’s number on his cell phone before flicking the screen off. Not that, not right now. But maybe... “Real good night.”
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: none
Summary: A fill for this prompt on the kink meme
Hannibal meets Holden. Or the other way round...
Hannibal sees this guy who looks exactly like his beloved LT. But unlike Face, this guy a) seems to be gay b ) doesn't view him as some kind of father figure and is all "eww sex with Daddy no thanks *shudder*
Perfect way to release some of that sexual tension, right?
Holden sees this weird silver-haired hot old dude who's kind of undressing him with his eyes and also constantly making comments about his face. Whatever, the guy is hot (and for the purposes of this story Holden and Sean are not/not currently together) and he can have some fun, right?
So... smokin' hot crossover sex, please!!! Rough sex totally okay, nay, encouraged, bonus points if Holden and Face meet afterwards...
Still hurting over his recent break-up from Sean Jackson, Holden meets an old guy in a bar who seems very interested in getting to know him.
Holden tapped on the bar, and his fifth drink of the evening magically materialized. He’d just told the bartender, some cute girl who kept smiling at him in that annoyingly obvious way, to surprise him. Did he give off straight vibes? Women were always smiling at him. Or maybe that was for the gay. He could never keep it all straight with them.
But at least this one could make a decent drink, he consoled himself, a mojito this time. He already couldn’t remember what the last one was.
How long had he been here? Fuck, what was he doing anyway?
It wasn’t a gay club. He figured that was something, at least. Seemed like he was finding himself in those places more and more often. Not that it helped or anything. Get laid, get fucked, have some fun, have a lot of fun, but it didn’t help anything.
Nothing had, since the break-up.
His brain rebelled at the thought of Sean, his... former, he chided himself and sipped at the drink. Former lover. He hadn’t wanted to leave him. It had taken every ounce of courage he’d had to even summon the thought of it. Making the demand had been easier, though, pure anger. Acknowledge me or I’m leaving, he’d warned, and then Sean said something about his career and Holden had pointed out that was coming to a close anyway, and then they’d gotten in a fight. The bad kind, the kind with no make-up sex after and a night alone in the guest bedroom. There hadn’t been any sex at all after that, actually.
Fuck. He was not drunk enough for that right now.
Sean had refused to come out for him. Didn’t care about him in the slightest. Ashamed of himself, what he was. Clearly. But Holden knew he himself did not have that problem. He was proud of being gay, accepted himself for who he was, what he was, and if he wanted to get out and had some fun, he was going to do it.
But he wasn’t here for that. Not tonight. Just a nice neighborhood bar, or as neighborhood as downtown LA could get. Just a nice after-work drink. Nothing crazy.
Yeah, sure you aren’t that little voice taunted in the back of his mind and Holden resisted the urge to poke his temple to shut it up.
“Sam Adams, please.”
“Rough voice, right at his elbow, and Holden looked over. Tall guy, silver-gray hair, handsome in kind of a rugged way, something guarded about the way he was oh-so casually leaning against the bar as he ordered, some kind of power, something commanding, an intense presence behind a studiously easy-going demeanor. The same guy who’d been casting glances his way for the past hour and a half. Alone at some table on the other side of the room.
“You’ve been watching me,” he said, teasing just a little, not really sure what was going on here. LA was pretty safe as far as it came to gay acceptance, that sort of thing, but sometimes people just flew off the handle about it...
“Sorry about that, you just remind me of...” the older man started, a little awkward, and trailed off as the girl behind the counter came back. He slid a five across in exchange for the icy brown bottle he handed off to him.
The bartender winked at Holden again, and he must have flinched or made a face or something, because keen blue eyes were watching him again. Like he wanted him, and wouldn't that be a nice feeling? Fuck you, Sean.
“What is it with girls these days?” he asked, not knowing what else to say, feeling a little overwhelmed by the guy, and sipped at the mojito to cover it up.
“Always looking where they aren’t wanted,” the guy next to him agreed, and Holden smiled a little. This seemed like a possibility.
“Holden,” he said, holding out his hand.
The other guy waited, a split second, and took it, shaking back firmly. “John.”
Oh oh. Was that a fake name he'd jut been given? Hold smiled wider, over the rim of his glass, and this John started chuckling.
Definitely a possibility.
+++++
Holden wasn’t exactly sure when they left the bar, John hailing a cab, holding him. He wasn’t exactly drunk, the dull edge of tomorrow’s headache, sure, but nothing major to worry about, and John didn’t seem to be inebriated in the slightest.
The bright lights of LA rolled by, outside the window, and it wasn’t long before they were pulling into the foyer of some downtown hotel, the Hilton or Hyatt, whatever, all gold and glitz, all the things he’d bored with long ago. All the things Sean never liked.
His stomach turned over, and Holden glanced over at the man next to him. “This is my stop,” he said.
It was the faint hint of uncertainty in his voice that made the younger man hop out of the cab with him.
John, or whoever he was, had a suite or maybe a villa on one of the top floors. Amazing view, huge, at least two different bedrooms, everything else a little hard to discern in the darkness. John didn’t turn on the lights, just indicated the room that was open. Walking over, hoping he wasn’t going to trip over anything, Holden saw somebody curled up on the huge couch, big black guy. John paused to pull the blanket over the guy, and ran a hand around Holden’s waist, pulling him close, as he came over to see a little better.
“Bodyguard,” he whispered hotly, and pulled Holden back into that waiting bedroom.
Well, if he didn’t seem to think the man sleeping outside was a problem...
Once inside, once the door were locked, John flipped the lights, adjusted it to be just bright enough to see, too dim for detail, and kicked off his shoes. There was something hungry in his face, and Holden frowned a little, putting a hand between them as the older man - and there was no other word for it - prowled towards him, backing him up.
“Bodyguard?”
“Investment firm,” John replied easily, like it bored him thinking about it, reaching out, big hand around the back of his head, cradling it. “Started getting death threats after the market went bottom-up...”
Holden nodded. His own family was in finance, so he understood that. But he’d never made use of that kind of muscle himself, and from what he could feel, trailing his fingers up John’s arms, down the front of John’s jacket, shirt, popping buttons, this guy didn’t seem like he needed the protection.
He shivered. Been a while since he’d been with anyone who could really... Sean had always been good for that, all that brute strength from the field translating so beautifully into bed. Holden’s knees hit the mattress, and he almost fell backwards onto the hotel duvet.
Only he didn’t fall. John caught him around the waist again, and lowered his head slowly, laying him back, undoing his vest and shirt, taking it all off, throwing it away, laving a tongue over one of Holden’s nipples, then the other.
John kissed a hot trail down his stomach, dragging his fingers a little ways behind, and Holden gasped as he felt his belt being unbuckled, everything pulled away, naked, falling apart under this man’s ministrations. John, kissing the inside of his thighs, working his way slowly up, so slow, taking one of Holden’s balls in his mouth and then the other, blowing cool air on hot skin, making Holden shiver and moan. One hand kept his hips pinned down as John cupped his balls and sucked, very gently, on the head of Holden’s cock.
He bucked up at that, and John just chuckled, taking him in a little further, tongue swirling, the vibrations of that chuckle reverberating through Holden’s entire body, and then swallowed him down. Holden had gotten head before - honestly, who hadn’t? - and this guy was one of the best ever, sucking his cock like it was his religion or something...
John squeezed his balls and pressed a finger back behind, that little sensitive spot, and that was it. Holden wanted to make some kind of protest about this, coming in the guy’s mouth, but John just swallowed it all down, every drop, rubbing circles on Holden’s belly as he did it.
When he was coherent again, John had crawled up on the bed with him, hand still moving. “That good, kid?” he asked softly.
Holden caught the little endearment there, and figured it might be for whoever it was he was supposed to look like. But John was clearly wanting here, and he’d been long enough without affection and who cared if it wasn’t real?
This was LA. Nothing was.
“Yeah, real good,” he replied. “Damn, you’re good at that.”
That hand just kept moving. “What do you want?”
Wasn’t really a question, was it? Who asked that? And Holden laughed. Oh, he could have done so, so much worse that this supposed, lovesick John. “We both know what you want.”
“Hmm, what’s that? To fuck you senseless?”
“Godyesplease,” and Holden bit his lip, trying not to smile at the way it all came out in a single groan, the way John just growled it in his ear, no shame at all, then rolled away, probably after a condom.
For his part, Holden scooted himself into a more pleasant arrangement on the bed, dragging the scratchy duvet away and kicking in over the edge. He hated those hotel room blankets, never knew who’d been laying all over them. Those smooth, cool hotel sheets on the other hand, those, those were good. Those were very good here, and he settled himself into the sinful spread of pillows as John tossed a tube and a foil wrapped package down in front of him on the bed.
“Extra large” Holden teased, fingering the condom in its wrapper.
John just grinned, and leaned on the footboard. Like he was admiring the view. Holden grinned back, and couldn’t help himself. He just had to stroke down his front, collarbone to cock, one time, and John groaned appreciative.
Holden did it again.
So what if John wasn't the only person starved for a little attention around here?
The older man came around the side of the bed, right over to him, and Holden felt his heart start to race a little, his cock start to swell again. Oh, raw power. He’d been right about that. The kind men carried at the top of their game, the top of their world, that kind of self-assurance that only a long-fought battle would bring. It’s what he’d loved about Sean...
And John dropped down next to him, on his side, head lifted with one hand, fingers dancing over his skin. “Who was he?” he asked softly, and Holden balked.
This was not the way these things went. Ever. And he sure as shit didn’t want to answer that.
“Sean. Football player. He, uh, well, hid us, you know, us... it wasn't fun for me anymore.”
“Fuck,” John said agreeably, and that hand on Holden’s skin got firmer, harder, more. “Who’d ever want to hide somebody like you?”
He barked a little laugh, uncomfortable at talking to somebody about this, uncomfortable that he couldn’t seem to stop himself. Like he wanted to talk to John. Like John wanted to listen.
Sure. Right. Was this some kind of kink the guy had?
“I don’t think you’d get it,” Holden huffed anyway. “He can’t come out, no way, not in his line of work and I frankly didn’t see the point in keeping on with it anymore...”
John moved on top of him, just swung over, arousal pressing painfully on the zipper of his pants. “Believe it or not, I know exactly how that is,” he replied, that growl back, and nipped at Holden’s collarbone. “You should cut him some slack...”
“Seriously? This, from the guy who picked up a total stranger in a bar?"
"You're too fucking gorgeous to resist..."
"Even when I'm whining? Come on John...” and he rubbed the straining fabric of the other man’s jeans, desperately wanting this discussion to be over. Needing it to be. Just needing whatever was in there to drive out the memories for a little while, not bring them to the forefront.
“Mmm, noticed that, did you, kid?”
“Yeah, old man. I want to see this extra-large dick of yours.”
John just laughed.
John smirked and worked his pants slowly down, kicking them off the bed. Holden just stared for a moment - christ this guy had not be kidding - and then took the older man in hand, stroking gently, then firmer, faster. John moved back over him, into his neck, biting lightly, hips already starting to find a rhythm with Holden's hand.
Those bites got harder the longer he went on like that, and Holden grinned into a tanned shoulder. Tightened his fist around John’s cock. Pressed his thumb right into the slit, drew a circle with the pad and John shuddered, turned his cheek and groaned, low and throaty. Oh, yeah, he thought, exactly like that.
“Need to fuck you,” John breathed.
All Holden could do was nod.
Strong hands flipped him over and arranged him just so and stroked down his back, dragging across tensing muscle. The younger man let loose a loud moan into the pillows as John reached his ass, started kneading there.
“Fucking lovely,” the older man growled and slipped a finger right between, right there, circling... and Holden gasped again, bucked back, feeling that shot of old familiar heat through him. It wasnt as good, nothing and nobody ever as good, as how Sean touched him, when Sean touched him, but it was still pretty damn good. Extremely good, he thought as that finger stopped moving and just pressed. Not all the way in. Just right over, everything inside already fluttering...
“Mmm, come on, John, don’t... don’t tease,” he gasped again, pushing back harder against that finger.
“Don’t have to beg, Holden,” came the low purr in reply and that light pressure was replaced with a heavier slickness, driving right into him...
He shuddered under just that much, just that right there, and the older man was twisting, turning, clearly searching, seeking out, finding... “Oh, right there... right there!”
“Right... here?” John asked and hit that nub again, sparking everything, and Holden tried to dig himself further into the sheets and further back against that hand.
One finger quickly turned into two, and two almost turned to three, but Holden caught John’s wrist. “I...I like it tight,” he murmured, remembering all the times Sean would take him with only the barest stretch. How much he always loved that. And since John was transferring here... “Tight, please...”
John rumbled in his chest again, deep and needy, running a heavy hand down one of Holden’s thighs before pulling back. Holden heard the light sound of that condom wrapper separating and wriggled his hips in anticipation as John rolled it on and positioned himself. That cockhead was at his entrance now, not quite inside, only the barest hint of cool on it from the lube, and John bent low over his ear, covering Holden’s body with his own.
“Me too,” he growled and then rolled his hips forward.
Driving right into him.
Holden buried his face in the pillows, biting down, moaning, as John just pushed into him, deeper and deeper, so deep, until he felt the older man’s balls touch, and those hands faltered a little.
And then closed down, vice-like, around his hips.
“Good?” John murmured, right in his ear still.
All Holden could do was nod.
Then John started to move.
It went fast from there, everything starting to build up on itself. Heat growing, skin rubbing against his own, all that power in the man’s frame focused on him, covering him, surrounding him, on this, on the way he was rocking into him, on finding just the right angle and sticking with it, initial shallow thrusts turning rougher, deeper, aggressive, so, so similar to the way Sean had been so good for, just like Sean, Sean...
Holden felt his body clench up around that cock and something broke apart inside him, and he was almost amazed to find himself spilling into the sheets again as John locked up over him and groaned through his own release, a few more light little thrusts before he pulled out and flopped away to the side, on his back, breathing hard.
They didn’t talk
And after the sweat cooled and his heart slowed, Holden felt awkward. He didn’t really know why. He just... did, and all he could think about was leaving. He needed to leave.
“And where are you going?” John asked sharply, grabbing his wrist before he could roll away.
Spending the night seemed, well, he hadn’t done that, with anyone, since the break-up. He wanted to say it didn’t feel right, but those words wouldn’t come. “I should...”
But John just wrapped an arm around Holden’s chest and pulled him back flush against him, spooning into him. He laid his chin on the younger man’s shoulder for a moment, long enough to whisper, “you need it too, kid,” and then something about his face, or maybe just face, and while that didn’t make any sense, John had fallen asleep, and there was something pleasant about that heartbeat, the breath on his skin.
Holden shrugged, figured there wasn’t any harm in it if John was okay with it, figured that John needed it, and relaxed. Started playing along that arm that was holding him, enjoying the closeness, even if it wasn't with who he wanted. Noticed a tattoo there, but he was a little too tired himself to figure out what it was.
He drifted off, cradled against the older man’s chest, and for the first time in a long time, didn’t mind that he dreamed about Sean.
+++++
The curtains in the room weren’t quite closed when he woke in the morning. Still early. Holden yawned and wriggled away from John, who’d shifted a little anyway in the night. Wasn’t hard to slide out of his grasp and off the bed.
Clothes found and pulled back on, Holden leaned back over John for a moment, wondering who he really was, why he’d been so... considerate, last night. If he was in love with that guy he thought Holden resembled. Stupid, that, falling in love with a straight man. But the other guy was an idiot, too, Holden thought, for not seeing what was on offer here.
That arm, his left, was sprawled over his side, giving Holden a clearer view of that tattoo. Parachute, lightning... Ranger? Damn, this guy had been in the military?
You should cut him some slack...
“Guess you do know what you’re talking about, John,” he murmured and kissed a stubbled cheek before tip-toeing out of the room.
He shut the door to the bedroom quietly behind him. The man who’d been sleeping on the couch last night was gone, and the shower in the other room was running. He made his way over to the door to the hall, flipping open his cell phone to call Redmond, his driver, get the car down here and get him to work. Had he left an extra set of clothes in the office? No, probably not, but Redmond could go pick those up, too... he started texting.
A man in one of those fluffy hotel robes was presiding over a breakfast spread, room service, on the in-suite table. There were differences between them, of course, Holden noted. The other guy’s hair was lighter, body tanner, clearly built, lounging comfortably, feet up on another chair, like he owned the place. Holden smiled to himself and went over for a cup of coffee. Couldn’t hurt, right?
“Man,” Holden commented to the other man as he reached for a sugar packet. “We do look alike, don’t we?”
And the other guy immediately started choking on his mouthful of coffee. “Motherfucker,” he coughed when he was able, and Holden handed him a napkin, feeling vaguely bad.
“You doing okay there, man? Not cool of me, sorry...”
The guy snatched the napkin and held it to his mouth as the hacking subsided. He looked up from where the cough had folded him double on his chair, and hung his head again with a groan, fisting up the cloth in his hand. “Please tell me I accidently took Murdock’s meds and you’re a hallucination.”
Holden sipped at his own coffee. Added a second sugar packet. Stirred. “Nope, I’m real. John brought me back last night.”
That head came up. Yeah, they could be twins. “Because you needed a place to sleep or something, right?”
“He did insist that I stay for that afterwards, yeah.” Oh, too much fun.
“After... dammit, John!” the other guy yelled, and there John was, padding out of his own room in another one of those robes, and smiling at his very pissed off employee. “What the fuck have we talked about with you bringing guys back to the room on these...”
“Holden, meet Templeton,” John replied lightly, going for a croussaint and winking broadly at Holden. “Who’s always bringing women back on when we’re on business trips.”
Holden smiled. “Can’t see that there’s much difference,” he agreed.
“None at all,” John nodded back serenely, and went for the coffee.
The younger guy, Templeton, flailed a little, obviously struggling and then it all came out in a rush. “Idon’tbringbackwomenthatlooklikeyou!”
Holden didn’t quite catch it, but John obviously did. His smirk broadened. “Does he? I didn’t even notice. Damn cute though, isn’t he?”
Templeton got up, grabbing a donut, and stalked back into the other bedroom, grumbling as he went. Holden just caught the sound of morning cartoons and muffled laughter from a pair of twin beds, right before the door slammed shut.
He smiled at John and squeezed the older man’s hand. Whatever bravado he’d been using on the younger man had fallen when that door had slammed, replaced by something wistful, almost sad.
“Who is he?”
Some tension, but John answered. “One of my management team. My... protoge, you might say. Been together a long time...”
“But nothing’s ever happened?”
“No,” John replied, and Holden felt horrible. The pain he’d heard in that little word... he didn’t want to make this thing worse for the guy, and felt kind of bad he’d actually let him fuck him. Well, not about the fucking itself, that had been glorious. But the transference, he guessed... “No, of all the words that kid would use to describe me, desirable is not one of them.”
“Oh, stop. You’re dead sexy and you know it, John,” Holden teased, finishing the last of his coffee and standing up. His cell phone buzzed. Redmond was on his way. “Look, last night was great, but my car’s here and I need to get going.”
“Understood,” John said, holding up a hand as if to indicate that was all okay, but he still got between Holden and the door, before the younger man could leave. Touched him one last time, like he must have wanted to touch Templeton, Holden thought, and leaned forward for a kiss.
Surprised, John didn’t quite return it, but he persisted and there it was, just the tiniest little brush of tongue, just a moment, something hungry in it... and John pushed him away. “You should try to work it out with that Sean of yours. Life’s too short to lose something like that,” he murmured, and grinned. “Take it from an old man.”
“I’ll think about it,” he said. “And you should...”
“Me too,” John replied, opened the door, and that was the end of that.
The door shut behind him, leaving that John to work things out with his Templeton. And Holden walked down the hall, feeling strangely light. He had a business trip of his own to England in a few weeks, and Valentine’s Day was the day he was scheduled to get back...well, at least he didn’t have to worry about it until then, right?
“Good night?” Redmond asked him when he got downstairs, found his car waiting for him.
“Yeah, Redmond,” he said, settling down into the backseat, staring at Sean’s number on his cell phone before flicking the screen off. Not that, not right now. But maybe... “Real good night.”
